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Awakening Again to Life

Under water This morning, in the midst of getting ready to take my sons to school (yes, the kids are back at school again!), I received an email that made me pause and take in the essence of life. It's that same feeling when I see a weepy movie. I remember that my heart is meant to soar and be broken and feel elation and sadness, all within a matter of seconds. As human beings, we are meant to feel, as much or more than we are meant to think. When I am jolted out of my "Step A leads to Step B" thinking mode and dunked, head first into the tank of deep emotion, barely able to get a breath before going under water, I am grateful. So very grateful. Photo by marieantuanetta

Clouds and sky The email was from a friend of over thirty years, a kindred spirit from my days at music camp as a teenager. His wife died this morning, after a long fight with breast cancer. She left not only a grieving husband, but four children, the youngest being a grade schooler and the oldest being a college student. My friend was eloquent, only hours after his wife's death, in describing what her passing meant to him, his children, and his in-laws. He also professed his faith in God and His wisdom in choosing this to be her time to go. Photo by silver and gold.

I didn't know my friend's wife at all. We met only briefly while my friend was dating her in college. We've lived in different states our entire adult lives.  Yet, I'm sad this morning, even weepy, because I can sense the impact that she had on those closest to her. I know from my friend's email that this was a woman who was loved and loved others, deeply. I know that her friends and family will miss her, not just today or next week, but for a very long time. This awakens me to life again.

Heart flower2 Another friend once told me that the whole purpose for our lives is to love and be loved. My left-brained engineering side can never quite comprehend this. Until I see an email like the one my friend sent me this morning. And then I feel it, deep in my chest. Yes, that's it, isn't it? So simple and so powerful. Photo by David Paul Ohmer.

Today, as I go through my schedule of calls with clients and vendors and write marketing copy for a website and manage the details of implementing a new CRM system, I'll be aware of those sacred feelings inside of me. I may even continue to be weepy. I'll stop to hear the sounds of my husband in the kitchen, making his morning brew, with a new appreciation. I'll greet my sons, after their first day at school, with more than a brief appearance from my home office. I'll be genuinely happy to have them home again.  I'll be more patient with the stranger on the phone, trying to sell me something I don't need or want.

Life is right in front of us, in this moment, ready to be savored, deeply appreciated, and loved.

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  1. Walter Akana on August 18, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    What a beautiful and inspired post, Carol! You’ve given me pause! And you’ve tapped the true power of life, especially in the present moment. You’ve moved me and I appreciate that!

  2. Carol Ross on August 18, 2009 at 12:02 PM

    Thanks, Walter. This is a post that takes me to my roots in blogging–why I started in the first place. Blogging is first and foremost a means of creative expression, a way to sort through daily life and make meaning of it. I will always want to add value in terms of providing knowledge–links to resources, conceptual ideas AND the core of my existence is about spreading wisdom, my own and others. Two very different things.

  3. paul merrill on August 20, 2009 at 8:19 AM

    Great post, Carol! You really cut to the heart of what’s most important in life.

    I really dealt with realities this summer, as my mom died in late June. What a treasure her life was – and what a blessing that she shared it with so many.

  4. Carol Ross on August 20, 2009 at 9:04 PM

    Sorry to hear about your mom’s passing, Paul. Your comments, coming so soon after experiencing the death of your mother, hold more weight than this post. I always think that truth is known deeply only when we have experienced it. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Francine Watkins on September 6, 2009 at 11:48 AM

    Oh my, Carol. I thought of you and immediately checked your recent posts,knowing I would find something that would move me and make me think. As usual — you delivered,in spades. Likely I needed to hear this message today. I’ll remember it if I catch myself allowing little setbacks or annoyances to reach me.
    Thank you.

  6. Carol Ross on September 7, 2009 at 7:54 AM

    Thanks, Francine, for your lovely words. I was at a social gathering this weekend and was talking with an older couple, retired, who had come to this country in the 60’s from Europe. They talked about how Americans don’t realize how much they have, how much they take for granted. I think this extends to people in Western societies in general.

    A well-lived life is savoring all that’s in front of you and making the most of it. Thanks for your reminder of how we can get distracted by setbacks that don’t mean all that much in the scheme of things.

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