It's natural that many wisdom entrepreneurs focus on getting their ideas into the world, rather than talking about themselves. Unfortunately, this is a fatal flaw that I've seen with more than one person. Photo by Vivianna_love
In the discomfort, humility, and maybe even fear of being seen, the very cause that you work so hard to promote is undermined. The point of telling your story is not to glorify yourself. It's to give credibility to your ideas. Story is the mechanism for telling the reader not just "what" (the cause) but "why" (the motivation for the cause). Your audience wants to know, "Were you always like this?" And if the answer is no, they want to know what happened to flip the switch. (Which reminds me of meeting with someone I knew from high school and hadn't seen in 25 years. Upon seeing me now as an executive coach and organization development consultant, and remembering me as a math and science geek, he blurted out, "What happened to you?")
A great example of the importance of backstory lies with my friend, Sally Spencer-Thomas. She's passionate about suicide prevention for working adults. Sally speaks at conferences around the world on the topic, in addition to being the executive director for a related non-profit. That's the "what." The "why" is her backstory–having trained as a clinical psychologist, she could see the signs that her brother, a successful entrepreneur, was struggling with bipolar disorder. But that wasn't enough to prevent his suicide in 2004 at the age of 34. Knowing Sally's story gives weight to her words and explains what flipped the switch for her. She's experienced the loss of a sibling due to suicide. It's not just academic theory from her training.
Story provides the emotional ballast to the facts and figures of your ideas. Without the reader feeling something, anything, around your cause, there's less chance of engagement.
In the book, Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting, considered to be the bible for screenwriters, the author, Robert McKee says:
"[F]act, no matter how minutely observed, is truth with a small "t". Big "T" Truth is located behind, beyond, inside, below the surface of things, holding reality together or tearing it apart, and cannot be directly observed…What happens is fact, not truth. Truth is what we think about what happens."
To tell your story is to speak your truth. People know big "T" Truth when they hear it. Photo by Candida.Performa
Story also helps to distinguish how your passion for say, working with entrepreneurs in Africa, is different from someone else's passion that appears on the surface to be very similar. We each come to our life's work through a unique set of experiences. Story is a way to reveal to an audience a set of experiences that shaped and contributed to your ideas today. Now, instead of your solution to an age-old problem becoming another "me, too," you've shown your audience that your insight comes from hard-won life lessons. Story explains where your wisdom comes from.
One of the best uses of telling your story comes from entrepreneur, Mansoor Shafi, banker turned CEO of ROADGEAR, Inc., a company that sells accessories for avid motorcyclists. On his site, Shafi talks about suffering a personal tragedy and how being on a cross-country motorcycle trip renewed his sense of purpose and life. He experienced not just the joy of being on a motorcycle. He found that riding could be life-affirming, even life-giving. That's his wisdom, which he's built into a successful company that supports other motorcyclists in finding the magic in riding. Photo by Will Palmer
And finally, in my recent work with helping individuals tell their story, I've seen first hand how story transforms the teller as much as the listener. People think of themselves differently after telling their story. They are more appreciative of the life journey they've taken, more sure of who they are and more centered on where they are going.
So, tell me, what's your story?
Very nice post, Carol.
In addition to having comfort with sharing your story, it’s important to know how to tell your story.
Giving enough information but not too much is a point of balance, timing and taste. Conflict is at the heart of story. That doesn’t necessarily mean something physical, but it does mean that there are stakes and consequences. A journey or an arch to both character and plot are natural parts of a well told story. Flawed heroes who grow are far more interesting people to whom we can relate than perfect people who knew where they were headed every step of the way.
Part of the meaning of truth with the capital “T” that McKee mentions in the quote you referenced is about theme. What’s the deeper meaning to the actions that comprise someone’s story? That’s the truth we’re interested in.
And the beauty of McKee’s quote is that he also describes one of the problems with expressing truth. It’s easier to point to it than it is to describe it, so story is the vehicle by which we share our truth without trying to nail it down with an imperfect or tidy definition.
I’m sure there are many good books on learning story telling techniques. McKee’s has to be among the best, although it’s something of a textbook in approach. And even though it’s stated to be for screenwriters, the lessons are applicable across genres.
Hi Dave,
Love your point about conflict being the heart of story and that it introduces stakes and consequences. I find it so interesting that conflict creates rich interest in one’s story, but it’s often one of the hardest parts to bring out. It’s grossly misunderstood. Most people tend to shy away from points of conflict when they tell their story.
Also appreciate your points about truth and meaning. I think that hits at the core of why I love story so much–because it’s the perfect vessel for truth and meaning.
Wow…this speaks to my heart especially right now….there’s loads of stories we each have and I’m in the midst of steering the focus of my healing practice to helping women/girls own their voice and stop and squelch for once and all the inner sabotager…love that i found this…soo grateful for the work that you do 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and your kind words, Tresha! Thrilled that this hit a chord. The stories we tell ourselves (and to others) makes all the difference, doesn’t it? When people feel they have the power to change their story, to something better, it’s a good thing.
It sounds like you are doing wonderful work!