This is the second in this series of specific questions that Ilene is answering. I thought you would enjoy seeing a picture of me with Ilene (on the right, looking down), taken last week at her home. If you click on the photo, you’ll see a larger version of it (for those of you like me, who can’t read the fine print anymore!)
What do we not understand about "conscious leaving”?
What is really possible? Can we leave this life with joy, and celebration, as if it is just another transition? I am deteremined to try. There is a taboo here. We don’t talk about death and leaving easily. I hope to break that in my circle and welcome this opportunity to face the transition death offers with openness and fearlessness. Only time will tell how successful I will be. We do not understand the impact on others of doing this consciously. It is profound.
What is surprising to you about "conscious leaving?" What are you learning?
I am surprised by the reactions from others. People say they have never seen this done. Why is that? I am puzzled that we do not have a more open attitude with leaving, a template, a way to honor a life, besides just grief and mourning. So many spiritual paths talk about another realm, an after life. Why do we not behave as if we believe it? Why do so many people’s lives end in bitterness?
I am learning that to die consciously is seen as courageous.
I am learning that to plan and think about my relationships and give space for words and closure is unusual.
I am learning that to leave consciously involves respecting the needs and feelings of others as well as my own.
I am learning I am loved more than I knew.
I am learning that there are ways to leave without suicide. That a life completed and affairs left in order can allow one to choose to leave when ready. (This piece is yet to be tested, and I am told it is possible.)
I am learning that it is hard to stop "doing" and creating, even in a body that doesn’t function independently.
I am learning to let in help, support and love.
I am learning that what is most important is how we live not what we live.
I am learning that even as my body fails, I cling to this amazing experience of life, the beauty of this world, the richness of loving relationships, the challenge of creating meaning and making a difference.
Keep up the good work.
I am learning about Ilene’s inner thoughts. Thanks
Hello Ilene;
Yes, I agree with Ilene. To talk about death, or more accurately, to talk about dying and the dying process IS rare. I see that people are very uncomfortable with the subject and would rather simply slide over to some other topic. I am called to feel their distress, their denial, their discomfort and to see into that. What is it about?
What has us wait until we are caught by surprise so often ( a big truck out of the dark, cancer or heart attacks catch us by surprise)? Actually I see that when people will go into the conversation deeper – then they find it valuable, yet enticing them deeper, that is the challenge. Thank you for this conversation. It is a deep one.
Love to you, Laura Whitworth