My 11-year old son wants a pet. After my husband talked about the expense and work of having a dog, he settled for a turtle. I asked him to do research on the Internet about turtle care. It’s the engineer in me demanding a plan before plunging ahead.

Andy found a great online article for a first time turtle owner.  Besides understanding the different species that are suitable for pets (How about a Golden Greek turtle, son?), I found a number of things to consider in caring for a pet turtle. This includes temperature (they like it warm, warmer than our heating billl allows for in the middle of winter), humidity (hey, this is Colorado, not Florida), diet (live prey vs. plants), protection against predators (more applicable for turtles kept outdoors), lighting (UV-A rays not good enough, UV-B rays preferred) and hibernation. It’s when I got to the hibernation section that I couldn’t stop laughing:

"This issue is contentious and beyond the scope of this article. Research your species.  Some believe hibernation is unnecessary. Some believe it prolongs life (assuming you count months spent comatose as "life"). Hibernation is definitely risky.  Rats may devour your helpless hibernators. Rain could drown them. Your refrigerator’s thermostat could malfunction and freeze them. Don’t hibernate your animal until you know the ins and outs of hibernation cold."

My thanks to the author, Richard Lunsford, for applying his sense of humor to what could have been some dry research on taking care of turtles.