I attended a coaching workshop this past weekend where one of the themes was declaring our breakdowns—the place where we know we are incompetent. Everyone is incompetent in something. We don’t want to admit it. Especially me. I thrive on being competent. I’m proud to be competent. I abhor being incompetent.

The instructor, Julio Olalla, founder of Newfield Network, is a loving and wise human being. He explained that if we never declare our breakdown, we can’t ask for help. If we can’t ask for help, we will continue to be in breakdown. And then what happens?

The breakdown declares us, instead of having us declare the breakdown. Ooohh, it’s a cruel world.

The last couple of days have been filled with breakdowns. My laptop complained of not being able to find the hard drive when I was trying to turn it on. Uh-oh. A colleague emailed that one of her tires had died and she was trying to get new tires on her car. A
client was distraught over relationships with family members, thousands of miles away. If I don’t declare the breakdown, it will declare me.

Here’s what I noticed about breakdowns:

We can choose our reaction, even in breakdown. I was proud of the fact that I didn’t panic. I wasn’t completely sure of my appts for the day since my calendar is on Outlook. I remembered I had a coaching client at 10am but wasn’t sure who it was. Since the client calls me, it was fun to see who it would be. Yes, I actually enjoyed the surprise.

Breakdowns cause us to move out of our routine, to operate in different ways. When I found out my PC was dead, I started using my husband’s Mac for email. It felt awkward. I had to ask my son to help me set the brightness on the screen. The printer attached to the Mac is incredibly slow. I couldn’t open some attachments. The damn machine speaks to me, in a robotic tone of voice. I moved back and forth between the Mac in the playroom and my office where I have my “stuff.” It was like orbiting the sun and then having to go to Mercury every once in a while.

Breakdowns help you remember the resources you have. Awkward as it may have been, I did have access to email through my husband’s Mac. I emailed the backup service that I signed up with last year, just for this type of situation. The guy who runs it, thousands of miles away from me, emailed me back within the hour. He figured out a way to access my calendar, even though I had forgotten the “secret key” to my data. (Yes, it’s really called a secret key.) The Geeks on Call guy showed up the same day I called, even arriving 30 minutes earlier than expected. He helped me to understand the nature of failing hard drives, what it cost to replace one, and how long it would take to replace it.

As it turned out, my computer booted up perfectly, as I was on the Dell support line, trying to recreate the problem and inquiring if I was still under warranty (I was not.) It was Life’s little trick—helping me to see the nature of breakdowns, pointing out that they weren’t so bad after all.

The Geeks on Call guy came before I could call him about this amazing recovery. He took a look at the error log and gave me some options for when it might happen again. At $165 an hour, I expected to be charged for a house visit but he looked at me and said, “We’ll just call this a cancellation.” I couldn’t believe my ears. Which leads me to my last point.

Breakdowns can bring you to a place of gratitude. I think I’m ready to declare more breakdowns in my life. Thanks, Julio.