I’ve been missing in action on all of my blogs over the last week. I realized over the weekend that I was on the edge of burnout. Small things were bringing me to tears. I was having trouble getting out of bed before 8am and even then, moving slowly for the rest of the day. Something was wrong.
As I explained to the team of consultants for A Bigger Voice:
"In the last week, I’ve noticed signs of increasing frustration, lack of “mojo” and less joy. It’s become apparent over the last couple of days that I’m on the edge of burnout. This is both good and bad. Good in the sense that burnout usually comes from working on something that I’m passionate about over an extended duration (it’s happened two or three times in the last seven years) and with an intensity that signals to me that I’m doing meaningful work. It’s bad in that it usually takes me awhile to get back into balance. It typically requires an extended time away."
I then went on to ask for help from the team in a series of client meetings coming up.
Some important lessons for me:
- There are always mileposts along the way before getting to the breaking point. A few weeks ago, a friend asked me what I’ve been doing for fun amid all the work of running the pilot for A Bigger Voice, and I replied, "Oh, I leave my home office at the end of the day, head upstairs and do stuff in the kitchen, like empty the dishwasher." As I listened to her reaction ("Oh, really, how nice"), I thought to myself, "Oh my gosh, I guess I’ve been a bit focused on work." But then I was on to the next thought, topic, task.
- Others see the mileposts as well, often before I do. One of the consultants told me after seeing my email that she wasn’t surprised about the burnout. She sensed it weeks ago, just from the increasing frequency of "sharpness" in my voice.
- Declaring to others that I was on the edge of burnout was the start of coming out of burnout. It gave me permission to take a morning off to shop with my sister, go out for lunch, and just play. A burden was lifted and the clarity of knowing my state for the time being was freeing.
- It’s okay to ask for help. I’m thankful that I have a great team that is multi-talented. It allows me to step away and feel good about who will step in to fill the gap. And I would ask for help no matter what, given that it’s only after I put on my oxygen mask that I can contribute again.
- Rejuvenating myself doesn’t need to take weeks, when I focus on the keys that bring me alive. In addition to shortened work days, I went to a presentation by Ashoka, a leading organization supporting social entrepreneurs. I would have thought this would be counterproductive, but instead, it helped me to look up from my feet and see the horizon and a larger vision for my work. Possibilities and big dreams excite me. I got home at 9:30 at night, energized. In the mix was a night out to see a chick flick, a new collaboration that uses my strength of interviewing others for wisdom, and dinner with an old friend. What I thought would take weeks to emerge from burnout sludge took a few days.
While I’m not completely back in the saddle, I have a lift in my voice and I find myself laughing a lot more. I’m getting up earlier, looking forward to checking off items on my to-do list and enjoying the process of the work. I’m returning to my old self….
just wanted to say this blog post is so good, thank you for sharing your experience of burn out. Its a real eye opener. Such valuable information on how to get over burn out. I suffered from it in the past and actually, for so long after felt kind of inferior/guilty. Your blog kind of puts it all in perspective, and reminds me that “we are only human”.
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I was glad to see this today – I have a lot of burnout in my current line of work (not because of passion, because of being ground down). I chuckled a little at your seeing over the last days that you were burning out – mine builds over months and the sharpest and most miserable parts stretch over weeks or months. I’m in a recovery phase now – frankly I’d love 3-4 or more months off. Though if I escaped for longer than a week, I’d be hard pressed to come back.
I totally agree about the burnout losses – I lose creativity, enthusiasm, motivation, the ability to think clearly or innovatively, and the sense that I feel or prefer anything. By contrast, a friend who has never worked full-time in my industry, and has an even lighter load now, has never had burnout and doesn’t seem to understand why her exciting (to her) plans of starting organization, writing newsletters, reaching into new work areas make me want to drown myself in the ladies’ room. No, not another organization…..uuuuughh.
Burnout makes it very, very hard. Thankfully it doesn’t last forever (though I wonder if I am actually in the same burnout I started in back in 2004 or so, with occasional brief abatements).