I had an extraordinary experience recently. I hosted a relaxing Thanksgiving dinner for my family. Yes, relaxing. And no, we didn’t have it catered or eat out at a restaurant. It was a home-cooked meal (mostly).

My husband and I noticed the lack of stress, both the day before Thanksgiving and at the start of the meal itself. My sister-in-law asked us our secret. We both replied without hesitation, "We lowered our expectations." Instead of elaborate recipes from Bon Appetit, we stuck to simple dishes–mashed potatoes and turkey and green beans with garlic and shallots. I know you’re thinking that sounds too easy. So on reflection, here’s what else made it a stress-free holiday:

• Stick to your core competency and outsource the rest. A recent Wall Street Journal article interviewed management consulting companies to see how they would handle Thanksgiving dinner and this was their solution. For us that meant buying gravy in a jar, cranberry sauce in a can, and ready-to-bake pies and dinner rolls. I made banana bread (a core competency of mine) and my husband made the turkey. I asked my stepsister to make the mashed potatoes (not my core competency) and my sister-in-law to bring an appetizer. Throw in a couple of make ahead side dishes and voila, dinner was done.

• Spend time dreaming what you want. I emailed my sister in Hong Kong a few days before: "I’ll be doing Thanksgiving dinner for the family this year. Looking forward to relaxing and enjoying the company." She wrote back with the equivalent of "Are you crazy?" in nice sister-speak. Just by expecting to enjoy my family, I maintained a sense of ease in the preparation leading up to turkey day.

• Do small tasks along the way. That meant washing the china and wine glasses a couple of days ahead of time. And showing my son how to make place cards the weekend before. Candlesticks were cleaned and candles lined up the day before. The kids pulled out their favorite board games an hour before guests arrived. I baked a side dish and banana bread a day ahead.

• Build in time for fun. You can do this as an individual or a as couple or as a family. One hour before guests arrived, you would have found me practicing my flute and my husband practicing the piano. My husband took our son to see the new Harry Potter movie earlier in the week. I got my daily run in all week long. As a family, we watched PBS shows and played the Risk board game.

• Give yourself a smaller window for your normal workday. That meant knocking off by 1 or 2pm leading up to the days before Thanksgiving. I closed the doors to my home office and focused on what needed to be done around the house instead. Yes, I could have done more work in my office. But by giving myself a deadline to leave the office, I think I was actually more productive. For those of you who are in the corporate world, this may feel difficult. I’d urge you to ask yourself the question, "And what’s the worst that could happen if I left the office now?"

Now that we are into the full swing of the holiday season, I’m adding two more things–naps on the weekends (that’s the dreaming part) and putting things into perspective.

I recently unearthed a transcript of interviews my brother did with our parents in 1991, right before my brother’s twin girls were born. He wanted to capture our parents’ lives for his own children. What he did, unintentionally, was give me perspective for my own life, knowing the hardships that our parents went through in a different place and time. When I read about blatant discrimination, being separated from family during war time, and living in drafty basements, I can fully appreciate how easy my life is by comparison. It makes the holiday shopping frenzy a walk in the park.

Find your own stories, put your life in perspective, and enjoy a relaxing holiday season.