This is a follow-up to my post on Peter Block’s Employee Manifesto. The first of many, as it seems the wisdom in this manifesto has captured my attention, in the way that when one is shopping for yellow VW Beetles, one starts to notice them everywhere.
My interpretation of the Manifesto is this:
Be a player in whatever human system you are a part of.
Companies are systems. Business units are systems. Departments are systems. So are families and churches.
The underlying assumption is that we have choice about what systems we are a part of. And at any point, we can choose to leave the system, to join another system.
I have seen coaching clients struggle with this point. They hate the system they are in, because of overwhelming workloads, the pressure-cooker of making the numbers, an entrenched old boys network, a need to be available 24/7, an expectation of weekly travel, firefighting as a way of doing business, a boss they don’t trust. Fill in the blank. There are a thousand reasons why the system we are in is not ideal.
And Block’s point is this: That’s life. Accept it for what it is.
If you want to make meaning out of being in the system you are a part of, then be a player. Own your piece of making it better, independent of all the stuff that is out of your control. Truly out of your control. I can no more make my kids eat a salad than I can change my boss’s beliefs about performance reviews (unless you happen to be your own boss, in which case you can dispense with the performance reviews forever….)
The turning point for my clients is when they realize their own power–asking forgiveness instead of permission, creating their own network of kindred spirits, pursuing a dream that is bigger than themselves, developing an identity that is larger than a job function or a role in a company. Sometimes they stay at their company. Sometimes they leave. It doesn’t matter so much which they choose. What matters is the act of choosing. Instead of playing victim to their circumstances, they become a player, not just in a system, but in their life.
When I was laid-off from my last corporate job, it was a relief. I had been in a limbo for many months, no longer feeling like I could affect the change I wanted at work, and getting a glimpse of another world where I could be a player. I’d like to say that I chose to leave the system, but that’s not true. What is true is that when I did leave the world of being an employee, to be part of the self-employed world, I had felt liberated.
It’s not easy to consciously choose. When you do, you won’t regret it.
Excellent post! I had a “gestalt” moment > 10 years ago on this very topic. I was having a hard time with my mom at the time and was complaining to my friend about it. My friend told me that I could move out; and I said there’s no way I could move out, my mom would kill me. Then my friend looked me in the eye and told me that if I really wanted to to, I could move out, that it’s up to me. That was a turning point in my life. Realizing that I have the choice, not so much in really making the choice to move out, made all the difference in my mentality. I never did move out. But having that “gestalt” moment changed my life forever. It made me realize that:
1) I have the choice. This was a really, really powerful realization; I was in charge and not a victim.
2) My situation is a result of my own choice and thus I need to accept it/take responsibility for it, whatever the situation is.
Love your writing. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Xtine, for that wonderful story. I’m always in awe of those moments when everything shifts, in just a moment, by seeing something in a new way. Sometimes, we stumble upon these moments alone, with a book or in the shower. And other times, we have helpers along the way who offer us another perspective. I’ve been lucky to have many helpers and sounds like you do as well.