My friend, Richard, raised my awareness recently about two dominant modes that people operate from:
- Do you think to talk? On the Myers-Briggs scale, I’m a slight introvert. I often prefer email communication to phone conversations, blogging to speaking opportunities, journaling to a therapy session. Why? Because writing allows me to think to talk. The process of writing provides an opportunity for me to clarify my thoughts, and re-clarify, and re-clarify.
- Or do you talk to think? I know of several people who when they write or speak, thoughts go all over the place. It’s a ramble through the woods of their mind. I have to remember that this is their process for thinking, how they clarify their thoughts. Not good or bad, just different. Without people like this, conversations would never get started, until the "think to talk" people have perfected their thinking.
So which are you? And what do you like about your mode of operating?
Posted in The Power of ......
I think to talk. On the Myers-Briggs scale, I’m very introverted. I am not a phone person. I’d rather email you. I journal and I blog, because it’s how I get my thoughts out best. Plus, like you say, I get to revise as many times as I want.
Sometimes, I’ll have a thought in my head, and I’d get restless until I write it down, because writing helps me organize my thoughts and let me “see” them.
People I know find this very frustrating, because here they are, trying to get a thought out of me and I won’t until I know for sure what I want to say. Or they’ll wonder why I just can’t call companies for information instead of writing them! It drives people crazy!
But then again, maybe I AM a bit too extreme with my writing-thing…
Hi Dora,
For introverts like yourself and many others, I think the Internet and email has been a real blessing. I have a nephew, twenty-something, who says a total of three words at family gatherings. I was completely amazed and delighted when he started blogging and I could see much more of his thinking, humor and interests. It’s part of the reason why I like blogging so much–it’s a wonderful medium for seeing and connecting with people more deeply.
I can do both. Naturally I talk to think…allowing what other people say in conversation to influence me.
Including my kids in conversation about situations before reaching for set rules was a good style for me. We came to a better place together.
Clients in physical therapy responded wonderfully to being heard in a conversation.
I have many wonderful friends and we cherish our conversations above anything else.
A talk to think conversation is unbearable if the other person isn’t interested in you or has an agenda of their own. If you have to sell yourself or your position you may have to think to talk to be effective or hold your power.
I had to learn the hard way to use both skills. A good life lesson for everyone.
Thanks, Monica, for your points on talk to think. I agree that a talk to think conversation doesn’t work if no one is listening! I also like your point that when a talk to think conversation happens with listening, everyone gets to a new place.
Also appreciate the advantages of think to talk that you point out. Seems particularly important in the business world….