This is third in a series of posts about being in hedgehog mode, as I write a book about my ancestors.  In my second post, I wrote about the biggest delight so far. In this post, I continue with unexpected gifts of the journey that I’m on.

Rekindled family ties, both familiar and distant. Researching the lives of six individuals (four grandparents and two parents) has led me to have conversations with aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings and stepsiblings. Some of these are extended family members I’ve never met in person or last talked to years ago. It’s given me a reason to contact people with whom I share grandparents and great-grandparents and elders who are in their 80’s. My research has led me to ask my older siblings about their memories and stories about our parents and grandparents. Together, we speculate and imagine: “How much did Dad know about…”, “What gave Mom the strength to…”, “How would our grandmother have felt after losing…”

I am reminded that sharing DNA is also sharing a curiosity about the men and women who laid down the tracks for a clan to flourish.

Deepened friendships. I have connected with dear friends I’ve known for decades and those who are more recent. When sharing excerpts of the story of my ancestors, some friends find resonance with their own situation, even though the circumstances are completely different. They know the feeling of loneliness or betrayal, of love and gratitude, of yearning for belonging and acceptance in a foreign land. One friend was going through health issues, but still wanted to read excerpts. I made it easy for her by offering to read aloud to her over the phone. It was a way for me to connect to her, at a time when she didn’t feel well enough for a regular phone call. She marveled at the chutzpah of my grandfather coming to America at 15 years old, as a stowaway on a ship. Afterward, she told me it was the best day she had had in weeks.

I remember that the story I’m telling is universal, even though it’s specific to my lineage.

The journey, not the destination, is the reward. It’s always been that way. But I forget.

Stay tuned for my next post, when I share an excerpt with you.