My kids just returned to school. And with that, there’s the question, “How was your summer vacation?”

This year, my husband and I and our two sons decided to take a 10-day road trip to somewhere in the vicinity of the Pacific Northwest. I say “in the vicinity” because we let our energy and instincts guide us on how we would use the time and where to stop along the way.  We purposely didn’t make any hotel reservations ahead of time. For those of you who know my engineering bent for planning and nailing down specifics (known in the Myers-Briggs personality type as a strong “J”) this would have been unheard for me ten years ago.  My forties have mellowed me out AND this was still a stretch for me.  Here’s what I learned on my summer vacation:
 
1. The world looks different when you have plenty of time and space. I had an epiphany at the beginning of our journey. Ten days in front of me, a Michelin road atlas, a full tank of gas, and plenty of food and clothing with the people I love the most.  There was absolutely nothing to strive for, no place to get to.  No responsibilities other than to enjoy who I was with.  It was living in the moment and a sense of peace. 

2. I can’t know what the experience is like until I have it.  After several nights of scrambling for hotels at seven in the evening, I decided to consult the guidebooks on a hotel for a small town on the Oregon coast.  Should I go for the “historic Inn” with no view or the reliable Best Western or try for a highly-touted B+B further down the coast?  At this point, my husband looked at me and said, “You won’t know until you experience it.”  Wiser words have never come from my partner.  Each place we stayed at had its unique advantages, which no one could have predicted.  In one hotel, we had an extra room for the kids with a bathroom in between. A couple of hotels had computers in the lobby with Internet access (yes, email is a nasty habit to kick….) Some rooms came with the extra amenities that you don’t think of until you need it–an extra sink for the morning rush, a fridge for ice cold drinks, a microwave for heating leftovers from dinner.  In two hotels, we had first-rate breakfasts, enjoying green chili omelets and made-to-order waffles slathered with whipped cream and strawberries. Some beds had more pleasing linens and fluffier pillows. We delighted in a wonderful sunset from our room in Boise.  A standard issue room in Pendleton, Oregon came with windows that could be opened for the cool night air to seep in.

3. Get to know your family. It’s worth it. We are a family of readers and thinkers. Several of us can’t end the day without reading the Wall Street Journal or a good science fiction thriller. Two are aviation history buffs and one likes to listen to Scientific American podcasts.  My sons and I consistently choose desserts with chocolate (preferably with several kinds in different forms) and my husband will always go for the homemade pie.  One enjoys naps in the car (that would be me) and one feels most comfortable driving even when he’s sick (that would be my husband.) One kid thinks ahead on every single thing he might need for the trip (including a home-made screen to keep out the sun, fashioned from rubber bands, cardboard, and aluminum foil) and the other is likely to forget underwear, toothpaste, and other necessities. We all like the thrill of finding a roadside stand with local fruit or intense beef jerky or cold fizzy drinks.

4. The unexpected is one of life’s delights. Who could have predicted that we would find great melons in Green River, Utah? Ones with orange rinds and creamy, sweet flesh and miniature watermelons just right for a lunchtime picnic.  Fragrant melons that were neither the common cantaloupe or the mundane honeydew captured our taste buds.  Ones named after countries (Israeli) and the farmer who grew them.  We reached the Melon Capital of the World at peak season. At 4000 ft, it’s apparently a good elevation to grow melons at. Temporary roadside stands, with their efficient misting systems in place, each type of melon beckoning us to try something new.

Likewise, the male part of our contingency (that would be everyone but me) thoroughly enjoyed a stop at museum in the Willamette Valley, housing the Spruce Goose.  This is the world’s largest wooden airplane, built by Howard Hughes, and meant to hold tanks and hundreds of troops, but ironically finished after WWII.  It is notable that it actually got off the ground for about 70 seconds before being put into storage. Meanwhile, I delighted in a lovely patio outside the museum, with tables and umbrellas and planters with colorful flowers.  The comfortable Oregon weather combined with blue skies and surrounding trees made for the perfect place to rest and get intimate with a good book. 

Basque cooking in Boise (think hearty lamb sausages and stews), a golf course at the bottom of Snake River Canyon, a short walk to a farmer’s market with blackberries and scones, business traveler accommodations at discounted rates on the weekend, spectacular Utah scenery unfolding before me after a missed exit.  All of these were unexpected and all the more joyful because we couldn’t have predicted them.

5. The olfactory sense is highly underrated.  I couldn’t help myself and bought two melons from Utah to bring home.  While they were stowed away in the trunk for the better part of the trip, they perfumed (or depending on your olfactory preferences, smelled up) the entire car for the rest of the ride.  Enough said.

6. Take time to stop; it really is about the journey and not the destination. Even though it added a couple of hours to the day to find a park for a picnic lunch or browse a funky bookstore (one that actually had a section of books on Antarctica), it is the freedom of choosing to follow our energy and instincts that I will remember.  Stopping is good. Stopping feeds the soul. 

7. When it’s time to go home, it’s time to go home.  The good thing about not having an itinerary is that you aren’t tied down to anything. Adapting to the mood of the group is easy.  After a few days at the coast, I was still up for seeing the wonders of Crater Lake and Klamath Falls and maybe a bit of gambling in Reno. I got a resounding “We want to head home, fastest way with no detours.”  There was no swaying the group. Visions of sleeping in our own beds, with privacy and room to spread out and friends to play with next door, quickly replaced images of idyllic vacation spots in the Redwood forests. Once we decided that our destination was home, the stops along the way were minor blips on the adventure screen.

8. Ice cream helps. My husband made it a point to stop for ice cream once a day. A brilliant strategy. It was our middle-of-the-day break that kept us going for a few more hours.  We had waffle cones and gelato in Hood River.   Berry sorbets along the coast and double scoops in Utah. Triple chocolate with mix-ins in Glenwood Springs.  Ice cream soothes the nerves, brightens tired faces, and lightens everyone’s steps.

9. Kids don’t care if they are cold or wet. They just care if they are having fun. My kids, used to land-locked Colorado, were fascinated by the playful waves washing up on the beach.  The air temperature was in the 50’s, the sky was overcast, a fog was rolling in, and no one noticed that this was not typical beach weather. They only saw wet sand, ready to be molded into sandcastles.  Amid fleece jackets and long pants, they let themselves be absorbed by the magic of the ocean.  It made me realize that next summer’s vacation should be at beach where all of us could enjoy the scenery without shivering. Maybe Mexico or California. Yes, I could see myself there.

A good vacation is one where you are happy to go and happy to come home.   It makes you appreciate more of what’s out in the world and what is part of your world every day.  It disconnects you from the expectations of your daily life and connects you to the part of you that revels in space and time. Take a good vacation at least once a year.